Monstrous Vacation
by Tro0uble-Evanescence
Summary: The monsters of Lordi want to go on vacation all together, but where? - 2015 Line-up


Somewhere in Finland, at night time, five persons were still awake. Five shadows sat around the living room table, empty cans of beer and Pepsi on it. The monster with red eyes stood up and looked at his fellows.

Mr Lordi: Well, the first part of the tour is over. We have three months free and we need a good vacation. So I'm asking you all. Where. Are. We. Going?

Hella: We?

Mr Lordi: Yeah... We always go on holidays on our own, so I thought it'd be nice for once to go all together.

Hella: L, remember last time we went somewhere all together?

Amen: It was so much fun.

OX: Totally.

Hella: You mean getting lost in the airport, nearly missing our plane, me falling in the stairs at the arrival breaking my legs, Mana and L playing with fireworks on the beach scaring everyone, not to mention OX nearly caught up because some maniac wanted to eat him, and you Amen, getting chased by fangirls and ended up trapped on barbed wires on the top of a wall, all of that was FUN?

Amen: Well, yeah. It's not my fault if I'm a girl magnet.

Mana: Fireworks are always fun.

OX: And I'm the one who ate this maniac anyway.

Mr Lordi: And I repaired your legs so that you'd been able to enjoy our holidays.

Hella: That wasn't my idea of nice holidays...

Mr Lordi: Okay Hella. We'll be careful this time.

The Lord and his friends crossed fingers behind their backs.

She took a map out of a drawer and laid it on the table.

Hella: Well, where are we going then?

Amen: What about a field trip? We could go to the USA. Plus we look cool with cow-boy hats and sunglasses. Remember Ozzfest?

Mr Lordi: It was cool indeed, but when this fan told me I looked like an undead Lemmy with these things on, I freaked out a little.

OX: Amen to that!

Amen: What?

OX: Nevermind. I'm already happy that we go to Japan for the tour, so I propose Australia! That would be a nice change of scenery for us.

Amen: Yeah...

Mr Lordi: Come on, seasons are switched there. They celebrate Christmas in Summer! On the beach!

Mana: You really can't stand the lack of snow, can you?

Mr Lordi: This and the lack of Pepsi. That's why I suggest Canada! There is snow there, and nature and its wildlife suits me. I'd feel like home.

Hella: The purpose of holidays is to forget home for a time and enjoy something new.

Mana : Yeah, so why don't we stay here ?

Mr Lordi: Vacations are a good way to forget about neighbors.

Amen: Point taken.

Hella: I agree on this. But look guys, we can't agree on a destination.

Mana: Hey! I didn't say where I wanted to go!

Hella: Fine, where do you want to go?

Mana: I don't know.

Hella: *Facepalm*

OX: Well, it doesn't help.

Amen stood up and went to the fridge. He took a fresh bloody human heart and took a bite of it, like it was an apple.

Amen: (chewing) So?

Mr Lordi: Damn Amen! You're smearing blood everywhere! I cleaned up this morning.

Amen: Oops. Sorry, I'll clean.

Mr Lordi: I hope so or I'll use your bandages as a floor cloth!

Mana: Amen to that.

Amen: What now?

Mana: Nothing, silly.

Hella took a sip of her strawberry flavored beer.

Mana: We still have no destination. Well, we need something where there's Pepsi, a cold/warm weather, new things to see, landscapes to discover, not too noisy, not much people.

All: Yeah.

Hella: Is there really a place that gathers all these preferences?

OX: Maybe. The thing is we've already been in so many countries for concerts that there are few choices left.

Amen: It's not "maybe", OX. There are countries that could reunite those things.

Mr Lordi: Really?

Amen: Indeed my friends and one country especially could suit us pretty well.

Hella: We're listening.

 _~2 months later~_

At the airport of Vantaa, the plane of our 5 monsters landed on the landing strip. When it stops, they got out of the engine. Their clothes were partly shredded and discolored, their hair messy and their skin had burn marks and bruises. They looked at Amen.

OX: Well done, smarty pants.

Hella: Iceland, heh? Amen, it's the very last time we follow your ideas.

Amen: Come on, it wasn't that bad. Well ok, bathing in geysers was a bad idea.

Hella: So was cliff jumping, iceberg skiing, fox chasing and so on!

Mana: Those foxes were fun.

Mr Lordi: And there was Pepsi.

Hella: Boys, I adore you with all my heart, but I'll never go on holidays with you again.

The monstermen crossed their fingers behind their backs.

Boys: (whispers) That's what you think for now, my dear…

Mr Lordi: Amen to that.

Amen: Will you stop calling me?!

THE END :P


End file.
